Missing
by Mademoiselle Anime Amour
Summary: Demyx remembers the life of a special someone. DON'T READ IF YOU DON'T LIKE YAOI! If you do like, that's great. R&R! Rated T for teen.


**A/N: Hey, guys, welcome to my first yaoi! XD I decided I might as well, because I'd be a hypocrite if I said on my profile that I like yaoi and then don't write it. I hope you all like this, though it is rather sad.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own KH. I don't even own the hot characters. T_T Haha, kidding! But, I still don't own anything.**

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**Missing**

Axel came back from that Castle Oblivion mission that you, him, and four other members were so busy trying to complete. The redhead told the Superior what happened, which we discovered later. Everyone else but Axel died on the mission, including you. If you still lived, you wouldn't have wanted to see my reaction. Part of me died along with you—I don't care if you would call it "a pile of romantic nonsense" or whatever big words you liked to use so much. To tell the truth, I realized how angry I was at myself after I heard the news. I should have talked you out of it more often than I had; honestly, I could never sacrifice you. When persuasion didn't work, I tried convincing Xemnas to let me join you and the others on that mission, but he told me no right off the bat. He called me too weak for the task.

I guess all I can do now is keep you in my memory along with all the good times we shared together. You know, I still remember when we first met: about the time Xemnas inducted me into the Organization. After I went through with that, I teleported to my new room to have a crazy jam session with my sitar. That didn't set well with you at all. Even thinking about that moment when you opened the door to give me that irritated look of yours still makes me laugh. You lectured me on the importance of respect for my fellow members, when I knew you just wanted me to quit playing the music. I could never do that. As far as I'm concerned, music is life. Our first argument erupted because of your lame lecture (you even grudged that fact later).

We would avoid each other all the time after that. Do you remember how I would look at you? I was trying to get you on my side when our eyes met and locked for five seconds sometimes. But, you would just stare at something weird like the wall or Larxene beating up Luxord for the umpteenth time in a row in one day. When I laughed at you as you attempted to do that, I was actually sort of bummed out. Maybe while those stares between us were going on, I was slowly falling for you. You seemed like you didn't want to have anything to do with me, just sitting there like an immovable block of ice. Nothing could ever get through to you, not even me, I thought. But, that was before Axel decided to pick a fight with me on a certain day I know both you and me never forgot. I played my sitar heavily, because I had just thought of this awesome rock song that I created. Inspiration helps me a lot.

From the look on Axel's face as he opened that door of mine, he hated what I saw as art. Most people in this Organization hardly understand the concept of creativity, which I seem to know pretty well, if you ask me. So, the redheaded pyro guy decided to slam me against the wall, his extremely bad breath making me want to hurl. I hope that you never had the opportunity to smell it like me—whew, it was nasty!

"If you don't want me to thrash you, I suggest for you to stop playing!" he yelled in my face just as you walked inside. Believe me, you were very much welcomed by me.

You glared at that always naughty Axel and told him coldly, "Release him before I tell the Superior of what violence you prepared to give. I doubt he would like that very much."

Grumbling and cursing under his breath, Axel roughly let me go, thanks to your constant mentions of what Xemnas would do. You always convinced people much better than me. They didn't call you the Cloaked Schemer for nothing! Once Axel left, we gazed at each other, this time longer than five seconds. Your beautiful cerulean eyes stared into mine, as though you were trying to read my mind. Meanwhile, I tried to read yours to find out why you stood up for me. No one had ever done that before. Everyone else would have left me alone to fend for myself. Despite the absence of your heart, I think that this was a sign that you cared. However, you would never admit it to my face.

We gazed at each other for what seemed like forever until I ruined the moment by asking you, "Why did you do that for me, Zexion? Actually, why would you of all people do anything for me?"

For once in your non-existence, you faltered by not coming up with a quick, cold response that had been so typical of you. I watched your mouth open, close, open, and close again as though you were literally a fish out of water. My curiosity got the better of you, for five minutes passed without you saying a word. All you did that whole time was stare at me with—I would like to guess—confused eyes. Finally, words finally escaped your gaping mouth, ones that sounded soft yet icy, as though you wanted to protect what you felt.

"Shouldn't someone do something for you once in a while, Demyx?"

Practically stumbling in a very ungraceful way, you ran off, never to cross paths with me again for quite a while. Your pride prevented you from doing that. The only times we ever saw each other was at the meetings, but even then you would glance away. At this point, I had fallen hard for you, despite us hardly speaking much. I guess your perfectly colored eyes did it in for me. Let's face it, we developed a chemistry that was undeniably there. I welcomed this feeling I thought would never exist, whereas you tried to stifle it. But, why stop something that will continue anyway? We may have been total opposites, but that's never hurt anyone. Actually, that fact served as the reason why our chemistry strengthened as weeks turned into two months. You still avoided me, though. When I walked down the hall for the sake of something to help pass the time, and you would come over in the opposite direction, you would immediately turn the other way. Worthlessness came about for me because of this. What had I ever done to you?

A night filled with luminous stars that shone so much brighter than usual changed the circumstances between us fast. I sat outside, perched on the railing of a balcony, singing a recent song that I had created. Slowly strumming my sitar, I sang my lyrics that discussed mysterious yet thrilling emotions, which I experienced whenever I saw you. Of course, I avoided mentioning you, because part of me didn't want you to know. So, as far as any of the other members were concerned, the song's topic would remain an enigma like you. Just as I got to the middle of the song, I heard footsteps behind me, soft, quiet ones that definitely meant sneakiness—your walk.

I knew you planned to see me once I heard those steps, for I had memorized every single detail concerning you, especially your face. It always seemed so cold and unreadable until that night, when I stopped singing to see for sure that you had walked outside. Our eyes met as they normally had before that incident involving Axel. Yours were glowing warmly, something I would never expect from you; warmth had never been your thing. The rest of your face contained that exact...passion, I guess, that seemed to radiate from you strongly, though you'd never show it. But, you did at that moment, as if me seeing that hardly affected you now. Gradually, you stepped inch by inch toward me sitting on the railing, still holding my sitar in the same way as before. Even though I had vaguely anticipated you, you shocked me senseless by your presence. Your countenance, especially, surprised me by its passionate intensity. I thought that if I had a heart, it should have pounded like crazy as you came to me closer...and closer...and closer.

You stopped just inches before me, just as I figured that you had put me in a trance by the way you had closed in on me. Heat rushed to my face for some reason I couldn't understand while the tiniest of smiles flickered across your lips. For once, I was the one embarrassed and you the calm one. Not like you were ever _not _calm, but you had acted weird the last time we had a face-to-face encounter—you had almost acted afraid of me. Before I could stutter out something stupid, you placed two gloved fingers to my lips to hush me.

I barely recognized your voice as you inquired, "Why did you stop, Demyx?"

Your question was posed in an alluring whisper, but you seemed to know everything: about what I "felt", what my song was about, and all the other secrets I had kept to myself.

I admit that you got me right then and there, though I suddenly preferred to become angry with you. You had never even said a hundred words to me during the whole time we had known each other. Your constant evasions frustrated me, and the way you just stared at me silently for _only _five seconds—that seriously ticked me off. So, I tossed my sitar to the side and shouted, "Listen, if all you were planning to do was to come up here and ask that, then don't waste my ti—!"

The sensation of your pale gentle lips on mine interrupted my impending rant. Once I felt that, I realized that that was why you came here. And I definitely accepted that.

Our kiss lasted briefly, though contained enough adoration to make me think if maybe the Superior lied to us and that we did possess hearts. When it ended (and I wished it hadn't), you quietly retreated back to the castle. No further words spoken or anything—you liked that kind of mystique about you, I think. As you left, I found myself grinning from the knowledge that you actually kissed me. If you were still here, I would have told you how much that meant to me. It made me want to write a million songs about you and how close you made me feel to being human again. That feeling never even came close to existing around every other member of Organization XIII. Then again, they didn't have your messy head of purple-silver hair, your piercing blue eyes, your height, or any quality you possessed that I loved. No one could have ever replaced you in my thoughts...or my vanished heart.

From then on after that exquisite moment between us, we would sneak around the castle constantly to seek all the hidden alcoves where we could spend time together. We would do this when meetings ended, mealtimes ended, and pretty much every waking moment within every day. In these alcoves, we would steal kisses, give each other gentle caresses, and hold secret conversations that not even Saix could overhear. That guy made eavesdropping a hobby...just not with us due to his ignorance. And, as they say, ignorance is bliss. I remember that we told each other everything that we would conceal from the others who could never understand what we had. You knew that we had each other's confidence, so as long as we possessed that, life as a Nobody was great. With you in my life, it felt like a puzzle piece had been found and placed in the jigsaw from where it came.

In public, we avoided interacting with each other to not rouse suspicion from the other members. If they found out, they would have ensured to make our lives miserable, maybe go so far as to separate us. I know I couldn't afford that, and neither could you. Xemnas especially would lecture us for four hours if he ever suspected our blossoming romance. We decided to pretend that we hated each other, so that no one would suspect a thing. That way, we could only reveal our true selves to each other. Who cared about the Organization? They liked picking on you and me and treated that like a hobby. Besides, the members ranged from teasingly mean to flat-out sadistic. In my opinion, we would have never acted like that, because I know myself and you.

Our trysts kept occurring until Xemnas announced that a meeting would be held regarding that Sora kid with the Keyblade. After we gathered in the throne room, he told us that a select few he would choose would go to Castle Oblivion to turn Sora into, basically, a puppet. Unfortunately, you were one of the people our leader picked; I wasn't, simply because he figured I could never handle some brat with a giant key. You knew I could do anything, since you knew me better than any of the other Nobodies in my life. But, since I realized that Xemnas' decisions were final, I selfishly wished that you weren't so smart. Maybe then you could have ended up like me and not go to Castle Oblivion. If you did, you would leave me all alone without any friends...or loves. Or, better yet, I could have just sneaked to that castle myself. That way, I could help you whenever you needed it.

The last encounter we had together happened on the same balcony where we had first kissed weeks ago. I told you all these lousy plans of mine, to which you laughed kindly. You had never laughed before that, so I enjoyed the throaty yet velvety sound of it while I could. It sounded so genuine to me that I really did think our hearts still existed. Xemnas about _had _to have lied about that, surely. You grasped my hands gently in yours after you chuckled and said evenly, "I have to go. It's a mission that might lead to us receiving our hearts. And you know that means a lot, especially for us."

"W—well...I'm gonna follow you to the castle, if that's what it takes!" I declared.

You smiled wanly before turning serious. "I don't want you to follow me, Demyx. I can't risk your life."

Looking back on that now, I should have thanked you for caring that much about me. However, I was about to engage in one of our many debates (all couples fight, after all) before you kissed me...one last time. Tenderly, you stroked back stray hairs of my zany hairdo as you told me, "I will see you again once this blasted mission is over."

"I'll take your word for it," I joked, though I hoped you were aware I was only being sincere.

Despite what you had assured me and despite my hopes, you never came back to me, the one thing that nearly destroyed me. Why did you have to fade away, when, technically, you never said goodbye to me? Why couldn't I have come with you?

Well, my questions concerning your death don't bother me as much as they used to. And I don't really care who killed you. But, _believe me_, I now feel like part of me is missing, doomed to die like you. We may have contrasted from each other, but it worked for us. We cared about each other to the extent that I doubt other Nobodies will experience that. I love you. I hoped you died knowing that, even though you never said the three words in return. You avoided following through with that, yet you always expressed it in more ways than one. At least I have that last moment we shared permanently etched in my mind. I might fade later on, but that won't. That will stay in our history forever. Besides, Zexion, if I do mess up and fade (which is very likely, if you had ever kept a record of my mistakes), at least you'll be there waiting.

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**A/N: I almost cried at the part when I had to kill off Zexion. I just usually don't write tragedy. But, anyway, as you read, this is basically Demyx talking to Zexion...sort of. I thought I should make it unique in that respect. I don't like writing in the same POV all the time for some reason. Actually, I don't know. I just followed my instincts on this one.**

**REVIEW PLEASE! That's all I ever say, but I like it when I get reviewed. Seriously. XD**


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